THE DIFFERENT PERIODS OF MOURNING: (7 DAYS, 30 DAYS, 12 MONTHS)

THERE ARE THREE SUCCESSIVE PERIODS OF MOURNING WHEN SOMEONE DIES. EACH PERIOD HAS ITS LEVEL OF CONSTRAINTS, AS IT IS OBSERVED WITH INCREASINGLY LESS INTENSITY;

1. FOLLOWING THE BURIAL, THE FIRST PERIOD IS CALLED SHIVA. SHIVA MEANS SEVEN AND REFERS TO THE SEVEN-DAY PERIOD OF MOURNING FOLLOWING THE BURIAL.
SHIVA IS OBSERVED FOR MEMBERS OF THE IMMEDIATE FAMILY; A FATHER, MOTHER, WIFE, HUSBAND, SON, DAUGHTER, BROTHER OR SISTER. IT IS MOST PROPER FOR THE FAMILY TO OBSERVE THE SHIVA TOGETHER IN THE HOME WHERE THE DECEASED LIVED.
MOURNERS DO NOT SIT ON SEATS OF NORMAL HEIGHT, BUT ON LOW STOOLS, OR EVEN THE FLOOR. MOURNERS ALSO DO NOT WEAR LEATHER SHOES, DO NOT SHAVE, CUT THEIR HAIR, USE COSMETICS, GO TO WORK, BATHE OR SHOWER FOR COMFORT (IT IS PERMISSIBLE TO WASH FOR CLEANLINESS), NO SEXUAL RELATIONS, OR WEAR NEW CLOTHING.

2. THE SECOND PERIOD IS CALLED SHLOSHIM, WHICH MEANS THIRTY, AND IN THE SAME MANNER REFERS TO THE PERIOD FROM THE END OF THE SHIVA THROUGH THE THIRTIETH DAY AFTER BURIAL.
MOURNERS DO NOT ATTEND PARTIES OR WEDDINGS, DO NOT SHAVE OR CUT THEIR HAIR. THIS THIRTY DAY PERIOD CONCLUDES THE MOURNING PERIOD FOR ALL RELATIVES EXCEPT FOR A MOTHER OR A FATHER.

3. THE THIRD PERIOD IS CALLED AVELUT – MOURNING. IT IS OBSERVED FOR A MOTHER OR A FATHER, AND IT ENDS AT THE END OF TWELVE (HEBREW) MONTHS FROM THE DAY OF DEATH.
DURING THIS PERIOD, JOYOUS EVENTS, DINNERS WITH MUSIC, THEATERS, AND CONCERTS SHOULD BE AVOIDED. KADDISH IS SAID DAILY BY SONS FOR 11 MONTHS. AFTER THESE TWELVE MONTHS IT IS FORBIDDEN TO CONTINUE PRACTICES OR RESTRAINTS THAT OPENLY INDICATE A CONTINUATION OF GRIEF.

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